30+ Signs Your Siblings Are Actually Jealous of You

By  Katie Ta'ssell

Lots of us have a brother or sister, some have both, some have several. Family relationships can be complicated, no question about it. However, once you've grown up, the ideal is that you and your sibling(s) get on reasonably well, and even enjoy each other's company. So what might make you think that your sibling is laboring under the weight of the old green-eyed monster, and you're the reason? Whether it's your relationship, your kids, your career, your house … or perhaps it's more emotive than that, to do with your upbringing. Whatever the reason. here are some indicators to suggest that jealousy is the root of the problem.

They're unnecessarily competitive

A little competition is healthy, right? It can spur you on to work hard, run faster, be a bit better - and siblings can motivate you like nobody else can.

But if you feel as if you and your sibling are constantly competing, and not in a fun way, it could be a sign that they're unhealthily envious of you.

They manipulate you

If your sibling has you wrapped round their little finger in an uncomfortable way, question the reason. Jealousy can bring out the worst in people, including a brother or sister.

If they weaponize your feelings against you or are gaslighting you, they might be succumbing to that little green monster. It's awful to think so, but it could be that.

They undermine your successes

The people who love you should recognize and celebrate your achievements with you - and that should include your sibling(s). You deserve to enjoy your personal and professional successes.

However, if your sibling is ambivalent - or worse, prickly - about your successes, they may be jealous of you and your accomplishments. Hopefully not so, but it's worth considering.

They dominate your decisions

You're all grown up now, an adult who is more than capable of making your own decisions in life, and learning from the outcomes that follow (whether good or bad).

However, if your sibling is feeling jealous of you, for whatever reason, you might find them weighing in on every decision you make, or at least more than is welcome.

They trash-talk you in front of everyone

Trash talking is maybe OK as a bit of fun, between siblings who like one another and know when to stop. But what if your sibling does it too often?

It can happen - what seems innocent enough to an onlooker is your sibling slyly putting you down. If it's a regular occurrence, perhaps jealousy is the reason for it.

They put on a façade to everyone else

If you see the snarky, sniping side to your sibling but everyone else thinks they're great, perhaps they're putting on a front to make themselves look all pleasant and well-adjusted.

If what only you see is directed solely at you, and it's not the kind of warm, affectionate sibling treatment you'd expect, you could possibly chalk it up to jealousy.

They take every chance to demoralize you

Everyone makes a faux pas now and then - you put your foot in your mouth and offend someone, totally unintentionally. You don't do it deliberately - well, very rarely.

So if you are constantly being demoralized, undermined and put down by your sibling, there has to be a reason. If they're jealous of you, that might be one explanation.

They bring negativity and take your positivity

We all like to moan - it's human nature. You need to get things off your chest, but in return you also bring an upbeat vibe when things are good.

So if your sibling always arrives with a black cloud, and leaves having stolen your sunshine, it could be that they are jealous of something about you. Wow, that sucks.

They use your weaknesses against you

As sensible adults, we all have to acknowledge that we have certain personality traits. But if your sibling is using your less ideal traits against you, that's really not cool.

If this is happens on a regular basis - the emotional blackmail, the reminding you of your past errors - you might question if they're actually envious of your strengths.

They're always picking fights

Siblings squabble - even as grown-ups. It's totally normal to disagree sometimes, especially given your shared history. Don't worry about the occasional argument, that's to be expected.

But if your relationship with your sibling feels like one long round in the ring, often over really silly things, you might question what drives that. It's possible that's jealousy.

They simply won't compromise

It's a reasonable expectation of an adult with an average level of maturity - the ability to sacrifice a little in order for two people to be moderately happy. Sounds familiar, yes?

Yet if your sibling is never prepared - even grudgingly - to compromise with you on anything, even if they weren't that bothered in the first place, you have to wonder why. Hello, jealousy.

They're constantly bossing you around

It's to be expected that, as kids, siblings sometimes try to dominate and take over, in a tussle to work out who has control over what. Totally normal, you think.

Yes, but if it continues into adulthood, and your sibling won't accept that you deserve control over your own life, you might give credence to the idea that they're jealous of you.

They try to sabotage your relationships

Nobody ever said that relationships were easy but some can be easier than others, if you've got a bond with someone. You'd hope that siblings would have a decent bond.

Sadly, not always the case. If your sibling is laboring under the green-eyed beast, they could attempt to derail your new relationships - whether with friends or partners. Next-level mean.

They don't respect your boundaries

Everyone has personal boundaries, although those between siblings can vary a lot depending on factors like their upbringing, how well they get on and how often they see each other.

If your sibling is struggling with feelings of jealousy towards you, they may choose to ignore your own boundaries. They might be so consumed by their feelings, they don't consider yours.

They always want the limelight - even if it's negative

Fair to say that we all like a chance to shine, now and then. Some more than others, especially if they're keen on amateur dramatics or bold displays of emotion.

Yet if your sibling is always hogging the attention at home or at family events, maybe they're jealous of your place in the family (or their perception of it). Just maybe.

They constantly interrupt or talk over you

In any given conversation, even with grown-ups, there will be a certain amount of interaction that spills over into being interrupted or interrupting someone. It happens, reasonably often.

But if your sibling actively talks over you, to the point of doing so deliberately, perhaps they're jealous of you - and therefore trying to dominate the conversation. How rude.

They make you feel hollowed out

OK, we've all got emotions. It's healthy to talk about them, to offload and get things off your mind. In exchange, others will do the same and you'll have to listen.

But if seeing your sibling leaves you with nothing left, empty because they've taken all your effort to cope with them, that's the next level - their jealousy taking everything you've got. Brutal.

They blame you for everything

It's only natural that as kids, you - or your sibling - might shirk the blame even it was your fault, partly or totally. Nobody likes to be told off.

Having said that, if your sibling has a case of jealousy and you're the innocent subject of that, they'll lay blame at your door whether it's justified or not. Unfair, huh.

They never apologize to you

There's no shame in admitting it - sometimes you fall short and you have to suck it up and say sorry. We're all human so we all get it wrong on occasion.

If you find yourself thinking this is just one of many things your sibling doesn't do, and there are things on this list that they do, often, then they could be jealous.

They expect your parents to pick sides

Children have a strong sense of justice - one way of saying that if they feel wronged by a sibling they'll expect a parent or carer to back them up.

As adults we hope this isn't necessary, but if your sibling still expects your folks to take their perceived side, you could legitimately question what the problem is. Jealousy, quite possibly.

They treat you as an inferior

It comes to pass that as we reach adulthood we gain a perspective that is more mature than when we were kids. You realize that everyone has worth in life.

Yet if you have a sibling that still treats you like a lesser mortal, you'd understandably question that behavior. If they are harboring jealous feelings towards you, maybe that's why.

They insist you got more attention as a child

Most of us with a sibling (or siblings) can remember feeling that the other got more attention. Whether it be from parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, whoever - the feeling was there.

If, however, that sibling still carries a genuine belief that you received more time than they did, that can lead to serious resentment and illogical feelings of jealousy. Definitely not healthy.

They have crazy mood swings

Standard practice to have the odd up-and-down day, and for your family and friends to do the same. We're all humans, with feelings that can fluctuate, some days more than others.

If you experience a rollercoaster ride with your sibling whenever you see them, however, and not the fun kind that makes you want more, maybe they're wrestling feeling jealous of you.

They leave you feeling exhausted

Nobody ever said life is easy. Pretty sure that's never been said, by anyone, ever. Yet it's not right to finish every day feeling emotionally drained and utterly worn out.

So check yourself - do you have a sibling that leaves you feeling that way? Do you breathe a sigh of relief when it's over? Possibly their green-eyed monster brings on that exhaustion.

They question everything you say

Fair enough if you're sometimes challenged on a topic that you think you're right about, but maybe not 100% certain. We can all get it wrong sometimes, and need correcting.

Siblings especially can be all over you if they think you're spouting BS. Yet if your sibling endlessly challenges you on everything, it can be too much. Maybe it's jealousy...

They lay on the guilt trips

In any life there will be things you're not proud of, even if they're really small things. Maybe getting your sibling in trouble, or inadvertently causing an accident. Things happen.

We should all be capable of forgiving, especially the small stuff and the long-ago things. If your sibling keeps guilting you, even when you've apologized or shouldn't have to, maybe they're struggling with jealousy.

They make it hard for you to trust others

When you have a sibling or siblings, you should be able to feel reasonably at ease with them, even if you're not overly close. After all, you share (one or both) parents.

But if their jealousy towards you undermines that, it can leave you questioning how much you can trust anyone. After all, if a sibling doesn't have your back, who does?

They make out you're being oversensitive

If you find yourself wondering whether your sibling is somehow jealous of you, you might feel inclined to quiz them about their hurtful behavior. Of course, they might deny it.

They could tell you that you're being oversensitive - and even if you don't challenge them on their attitude towards you, they might pass off any unkindness as you being so.

They only get in touch when it suits them

If you've got a sibling with issues of envy aimed squarely in your direction, you might find they are only in contact with you when they need you for something.

OK, some siblings are inclined to be self-centered (rather than jealous of you), but it could be one of several things that add up to signs they genuinely are. Jealous.

They use you as an emotional crutch but don't reciprocate

For lots of us, being a good listener is part of being a decent human. Whether it's for friends, colleagues or family, providing a shoulder to cry on is part and parcel.

If you have a sibling who takes all your supportive listening but never offers it in return, perhaps they're possessed by a little green monster on their shoulder.

They are incredibly petty towards you

Did you and your sibling(s) have really ridiculous squabbles as kids that seemed hugely important at the time? You look back now and think how petty you both were.

But hang on - if your sibling still makes the smallest thing an issue, that's even more petty and absurd. As adults you should be past that. Maybe there is a touch of jealousy.

They are actively unkind to you

Everyone says things that they regret - sometimes you're not in a good frame of mind, and you say something that's not very nice. Then you wish you hadn't.

Well, sometimes you or your sibling might do that to one another, but if you have a sibling who's constantly doing it to you, you might think there's more to it. Yes - jealousy.

They moan and moan about their life

No doubt about it - everyone likes to complain. It's good for us, up to a point, at least. And it can be good to hear other people's moans.

But if your sibling is constantly moaning - as in, that's pretty much all they do - you'd be forgiven for finding it hard work. Perhaps they're expressing their jealousy...

They copy you, but they take the credit

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. OK, but they don't say that if you're the one with the original style, how frustrating it can be.

They also don't say that when your sibling is copying you but taking all the credit, that can be pretty toxic. Why, though? It's possible that they're jealous of you.

They change the subject to make it about them

This old chestnut. You might think it's down to people being innately self-centered. which sometimes it is. Sometimes it can be down to boredom, or a lack of manners.

Yet if your sibling does it to you all the time, you must find that incredibly frustrating, and understandably wonder why. Could be that they're jealous, and want the focus themselves.

They're active on social media but don't like your posts

Many of us enjoy our time on social media, posting about what we've been up to or perusing others' lives to comment and like what they're doing. Totally normal to do.

Chances are, you and your sibling are connected on social media platforms, but if they never comment on your posts, that might be one sign they're feeling the green-eyed monster.

They leave the room when you arrive

Have you ever walked into a room and someone has immediately left? It could be totally innocent, like they need to use the bathroom or they need to get a drink.

But if you see a pattern with your sibling doing this, that could signal something more serious. Being jealous of you might be why, and they might not be able to stand being around you.

They don't change their behavior even if challenged

Lots of people don't like confrontation. It makes them anxious and uncomfortable, and quite often, it seems unnecessary. If it won't achieve anything except cause upset, maybe better to walk away.

Having said that, if you have to endure poor behavior from your sibling on a regular basis, you might challenge them. If they continue regardless? Maybe they have deep-rooted jealousy issues.

They actively deceive and lie to you

There can't be many of us who don't tell the odd white lie now and again. Sometimes they're definitely not a white lie, but most people are basically honest most of the time.

You'd expect a sibling to be the same, or better, with you. Not necessarily - if they're consumed with jealousy towards you, they may out-and-out lie to your face. Regularly.

They absent themselves from family occasions

It seems extreme, but some of us actively choose to avoid family events, for whatever reason. For some it's too chaotic or noisy, for others they don't like the drama.

However, if your sibling always passes when you're going, then that's a red flag of a problem. That might well be them being devoured by jealousy of you, however misplaced.